Parking lots have to be some of the worst places to be in. Constant honking, random folks walking around, not to mention terrible parkers. It's no surprise that some people take things into their own hands. Check out how these folks got back at bad parkers.
He Should’ve Prayed To The Parking Lot Gods
“Of course the Costco parking lot was madness the Sunday before Thanksgiving.
To set the stage: I was among the sea of vehicles and cars slowly trudging through the parking lot aisles, praying and making sacrifices to all the gods that a parking spot became available.
I finally saw a woman who was almost done loading her lifted truck towards the back of the lot. I put my blinker on and waited, to make sure I left enough space so others could pass by while they continue to pass. The lady was done and backed out at a snail’s pace. I gave her the benefit of the doubt that she was extra careful and not just incompetent. A man who was in a Prius parked two spots away, not quite but almost perpendicular to me, entered his vehicle and sees the situation.
This guy decided that his time was more important than everyone else’s for some reason. Just as the truck lady had pulled out and turned her steering wheel to make a three point turn to escape and I was about to pull into my spot, the man decided it was his time to shine and starts backing out quicker. To my dismay, he almost hit my car. I beeped my horn to remind him that other peons like us do actually take up physical space even though we must be invisible to him. He rolled down his window and yelled at me to back up while waving his arms. I took a moment to absorb how truly selfish this man was, and began to slowly back up because I’ve lost so much already, I can’t battle another a-hole and just wanted to buy my dang toilet paper.
Now for the Petty Revenge: A Toyota 4Runner was opposite of me, also waiting for the truck to back out, so they could be on their merry way. They’ve witnessed this whole exchange, and bless them, they must have had all the samples because they were truly a people’s people. As the truck got out of the way. The 4Runner pulled up right behind the Prius, preventing the man from escaping, and placed their vehicle in park until the Prius pulled back into the spot, which allowed me to park. The 4Runner driver motioned to me that the Prius driver was crazy. The 4Runner driver’s passenger was gleefully laughing and tells me ‘Happy Thanksgiving!’ as they drove away and I say ‘Thank you!’
After that, none of the cars let the Prius back out. By the time I reached Costco I see the Prius is still stuck halfway out of his spot and probably cursing all the gods.”
How Close Is Too Close!?
“Several years ago, I lived in a gated apartment complex. I don’t know what the builders were thinking when they made the parking lot, but it was a disaster. Each apartment got one reserved, covered parking spot, and then there were very few free spots. One early October morning I got home super late from my job at a haunted house. Like 4 am or something. I couldn’t find a parking spot anywhere. I drove three laps around the entire complex looking for a free spot. There were none. No free spots, but some moron was taking up two spots. Some other poor soul had squeezed in between him and the wall. They weren’t even in a parking spot. Just the empty space between the wall and the other car. It was a small car, but a tight fit.
I considered parking someplace else and walking home, but I didn’t want my car towed or stolen, and I’d have to climb the wall. I was too tired to climb the wall. So, I did what I had to do. I rolled down both my windows so I could see the sides of my car more clearly, and I inched my way into the half parking spot that was not taken. It took a LOT of back and forth, getting the angle right so I didn’t scratch either car. I didn’t care about my paint job whatsoever. I didn’t even have one. I was driving a lousy old car. Key me, I do not care ya’ll.
It took me probably 45 minutes just to park, but I was pretty ticked off and determined. This guy always did this and I was sick of it. Finally, I got the car in park. It was sandwiched so tightly between the two cars, that I couldn’t even put my hand between my side mirror and their door. It was close enough that my arm wouldn’t fit between the cars, let alone my body. I popped the trunk, folded down the seats, and spiderman crawled out of the back of my car. I took a moment to admire my handiwork. It was beautiful. I was closer to being in the parking spot than he was. I just looked like I was bad at parking. He looked like he’d parked illegally, so if one of us was gonna get towed, it would be him.
I felt bad for the guy on my left, as I was blocking his passenger side, and he’d have to pull out of the spot before someone could get in. The moron, though, had his driver’s side blocked. He’d either have to climb in through the trunk or climb over from the passenger side. Served him right, too. Don’t take two spaces when parking is limited.
Now, perhaps the pettiest part of this, is that I didn’t have work the next day. Or the day after that, or the day after that. I worked nights from Thursday to Sunday, and I slept all day. I’d already done my grocery shopping the day before, and I didn’t have anywhere to be for three whole days. That car was stuck there all three days. I checked every day. It hadn’t moved. All the other cars moved, but I had that idiot trapped.
Moral of the story: Don’t park like an idiot. People without paint jobs have nothing to lose by blocking you in.”
He Took Matters Into His Own Hands
“So I go to a gym near my house that over the past six months has exploded in popularity (only large scale gym around). There are two parking lots, one close to the door and another behind the building (maybe 100 meters from the furthest spot to the door).
So lately its been very cold and the close parking in the front fills up very quickly and people will wait around for a spot since the turnover is usually quick . However, I guess some people are impatient as lately people have just begun to park wherever they can stick their car. On the sidewalk, grass area, and even on a crosswalk area that leads to the entrance. This last offence especially annoyed me since I have a quadriplegic uncle and accessibility is always an issue without some idiot parking his car somewhere he shouldn’t because he can’t walk 50 meters.
It started off here and there and now consistently there is always someone blocking that ramp entrance. I spoke to the manager of the gym and they said ‘They would look into it,’ with a tone that said to me…..whatever. So I decided to take matters into my own hands. I bought some window markers (the ones you can easily wipe off) and every time I came and saw someone park there, I’d write on their driver-side window ‘Thank you for parking like an idiot.’
I kept this up for nearly three weeks. Now amazingly, eventually people stop parking there and clearly this a hot topic because I hear people occasionally mentioning and the gym actually posted a sign asking for whoever was vandalizing cars to cease. I got my point across so I stopped.
A week later I was in the free weight area and I heard the guy beside me complaining how his car got hit. I looked over and said, ‘Shouldn’t have parked like an idiot then.'”
The Pettiest Of Petty!
“I was attending some night courses to complete my high school at the local mall. Classes got out at the same time the mall closed. I left and hopped in my car and pulled out of my parking spot. I ended up behind this guy who stopped right in front of the side entrance.
Now the parking lot has two lanes running beside the entrance with parking spaces on either side, pretty standard. Everybody was trying to leave, except this idiot who was not moving as he idled in front of the mall entrance obviously waiting for somebody. I put my car in park and go up to asked him to pull into one of the empty spaces right beside the door.
I gestured for him to roll down the window so I can talk to him. He shook his head. So I (politely) gestured that he should pull into an empty spot so people can get out. By this time there is a line of 30 or more cars extending around the corner of the mall. Idiot pointed at the doors and gave a sad little shrug as if to say ‘Well what can I do?’
Alright prick, if you want to play that game…
I hopped back in my car and waited until I saw a young lady walk out the door and head to his van. I immediately jump out of my car and run in front of his van. Now he’s sandwiched between me and my car. He tried to wave me out of his way so I give him a sad little shrug as if to say ‘Well what can I do?’
By this time the traffic going the other way has stopped so the cars behind me started going around us and the parking lot quickly clears out. By now buddy is practically frothing at the mouth. The girl who came out of the mall is yelling that she’s calling the cops. I know from personal experience that the response time for the local police is 21 minutes so I was not concerned. We stood there for 18 minutes in an empty parking lot before I got back in my car and he tore out of there.
I asked you nicely to move so you wouldn’t be an inconvenience to people who just wanted to go home. There was an empty spot right beside the door! I hope you ended up being late for something important, idiot.”
Block An Entrance? Get Reported For Not Paying Your Taxes!
“This just happened and I’m feeling very foolish and embarrassed for what was said and how I went about it.
I’m a 30 something-year-old and this just happened to me. I went to a local post office to pay some rent. When I got there, there was nowhere to park in the small parking lot with space for about five cars at a push. There is a bus stop behind the parking lot and someone was parked in it, also to use the post office. I saw the gentleman that parked up and he walked into the post office with an armful of parcels to send. He was blocking two of the four cars that were parked and one was beeping his horn to try and get the guy’s attention to leave. The man poked his head out seemingly not caring about how he had blocked two people in and carried on.
I am disabled and often have been a victim of selfish and stupid people who block me in, sometimes blocking me from even opening my door. I went in and went to get in line for the post office located inside a convenience store and said, ‘It was a bit stupid and selfish to block people in wasn’t it?’
‘I am just posting a few things and it doesn’t matter, I’m sure they are fine with it,’ he replied.
He went on to tell me about how he came here all the time and how people block him in and he doesn’t do anything about it.
‘So it’s alright to block other people in because they have done it to you?’ I questioned as he huffed ‘If they have a problem they will talk to me like gentlemen, not using a derogatory term.’
I only called him stupid and selfish for Pete’s sake!
‘You know,’ I said, ‘You could have parked further down like I had to because there was no space.’
To which he replied, ‘Park where? There was no parking, besides, I’m here all the time it doesn’t matter.’
Now I admit I did say a typical Karen line here that I have no intention of doing but I said ‘Well I have taken a picture and I will report it to the police.’
I know the police won’t do anything, I had no intention of doing that, I don’t know why I said it. I am not a Karen. Just embarrassed that came out if my mouth but hey ho.
He put his parcels on the counter and wanted out to talk to the guys, leaving the queue before coming back in and finishing his transaction saying they were fine with it. Not even thinking about the fact he was blocking other cars and the bus stop, because of course why would he think about a bus on a narrow road wanting to pull in. What if someone in a wheelchair needed to get off the bus and couldn’t because of how this person had parked.
As he left he said, ‘They were fine with it, we had a gentleman’s agreement.’ And that’s above the law to this fellow apparently. I just finished my transaction when it was my turn and left.
I felt really annoyed and stupid about the whole thing on the drive home, feeling stupid for what I had said and that I got involved, I should have kept my mouth shut, feeling embarrassed about it. I have been trying to work on calming down and not working myself up over little things. I am sometimes confronted when it comes to selfish things like this (clearly) but I am trying to get better with it. Lesson learned.
I had the number plate of the car after I took a picture and looked it up, thinking maybe I could find some details about this guy and apologize for my behavior. So I looked it up and of course, I found nothing. I could have filled in a form but they wouldn’t have given me any details if it wasn’t for legal reasons or something like that. I did find out that the car this fellow was driving while unlicensed and unregistered. Uh oh!
Now I could have left it. I could have just gone well, I was being sore, he was an idiot. Let just leave it at that, but there is a lot of tax avoidance in the world and while I cant do anything about the big wigs, maybe I can about this. So, one quick form later, and hopefully this guy gets some sort of comeuppance. Something tells me he won’t stop doing things like this but maybe, just maybe he will think twice about blocking someone in… and pay his tax.”
How To Deal With A Parking Spot Hoverer
“Took my kids grocery shopping with me today. When I do that I always park farther down the parking lot and next to a cart corral. That way not very many cars are nearby so it’s easier to pull my cart up to the side of my car without hitting anything, which lets me get the toddlers in and out easier.
So I’m done shopping, the kids are loaded in the car, I’ve got the groceries in, and I’m putting the cart away. I see a car pull up a few spaces next to me, but this one is parked diagonally, almost facing my car. Weird. I stare at the lady in the driver’s seat. She stares at me. I hop in my car. She’s still staring. I stare back. Originally I just thought she was a lousy parker and hoped my staring would shame her into trying to park properly. Then she makes a ‘Well?’ gesture with her hands, and I realize she wants my parking spot.
I have no idea why she was set on my particular spot. Of the twelve spots that were in my row, only three were occupied. If she absolutely needed to be next to the cart corral, the other three spots were free and clear. But no, only my spot would do. So she hovered there. And I really hate people who hover.
Well, my kids were content in the backseat and I had nowhere to be, so I decided to take my time leaving. Fiddled around looking for the perfect song on my phone. Then I had to send a text. One of the kids wanted a snack so I got that for them. It was hot, so I took my jacket off. Hey, I got a text back! Better answer that before I start driving. Then I got cold, so I needed to put my jacket back on. I did this for a full three minutes.
The whole time the lady stared at me. Sometimes she scooted her car forward a couple inches, as if trying to make sure I could see her there. Then she would back up, as if changing her mind and deciding to park in one of the spots around her. And every time she moved, I would find something else to do.
Finally she had enough, straightened her car out, and pulled forward into an empty parking space. As she opened her door, I drove away with a big smile on my face.
I looked over as I drove by on the road, and she had gotten back in her car and moved it to my spot. (Why did it have to be THAT spot?) but I made her wait for it and park somewhere else first.”
Parking Lot Moron
“So here’s a little story about a parking lot moron.
One day my coworker and I were sitting in my parked truck on our lunch break. We saw this guy come out of the restaurant, take a look around then pee on the back of some random car. What?! I guess he hadn’t seen us in the truck at the time but we made eye contact. He stared at us like a weirdo as he shook his thing and walked away. We were honestly taken aback at what had just happened so we stayed in my truck.
That was when the guy pulled back around in his vehicle three minutes later and decided to pester us. The rude conversation went something like this:
Moron: ‘What the f* are you guys doing sitting in a parking lot?’
Me: ‘What concern is it to you?’
Moron: ‘What?’
Me: ‘I said what the f* concern is it of yours?’
Moron: ‘I just want to know what the f* you guys are doing sitting in a parking lot.’
Coworker: ‘Man, we are just sitting here waiting to go back from lunch.”
Moron: ‘Well you guys don’t need to be just sitting in a parking lot.’
Then the guy decided to peel out and cut out of that parking lot so quickly. We sat there for a minute then decided to take off after him. After pulling some Fast and Furious moves, we caught him at the intersection trying to take a left onto a busy road. Thinking fast, I pulled past two cars and come up on the right on this guy, effectively blocking his view with my truck. So I wait there and stare at him as he tries to inch forward only to be blocked by my truck more and more. It was nice to just sit back and watch the frustration.”
Aw Yes. Sweet, Delicious Revenge.
“On my way to work this morning, I stopped off at my local 7-11 for some snacks. My 7-11 is in a little strip mall, so there are only about 10 parking spots in front of it. As you can imagine, in the mornings, it gets a bit crowded, with people coming and going for their coffee, smokes, snacks, etc.
So I pulled up right next to someone who was in such a hurry that they had to straddle the line and take up two spots. Luckily, there was still enough room for me to fit next to the car. Barely. I was literally about an inch from our side mirrors smacking into each other. There was maybe 18″ between our cars.
Oh, did I forget to mention it was her driver’s side?
So I go inside, right as this woman is walking out. I see her almost run into my car because she’s texting as she’s walking. She looks around all confused, like ‘How am I supposed to get into my car?’
I smile and then proceed to take a good five minutes inside the store.
When I finally walk out, she’s still standing there looking around, and she gives me the dirtiest look I’ve seen in a long time, and says ‘What the f*? Why did you park so close to my car? I can’t even get in!’
I give her the most sickly sweet smile I can, and reply ‘Oh, I’m sorry, I thought I had parked within the lines…. ‘ — and here is where I took very a deliberate, exaggerated look at how I parked — ‘… Oh, it looks like I am parked within the lines.’
I then went and got into my car and left.
Not before taking my sweet, sweet time putting my stuff in the trunk, adjusting my radio, making sure my seatbelt was just right and then pulling out as slowly as I possibly could (I didn’t want to scratch Ms. In-A-Hurry’s car, after all).
I’ve parked close to morons like this before, but I’ve never been graced with reaping the sweet fruits of my labors before. It was so, so delicious.”
Read The Signs Please!
“A little backstory: one of the jobs I have is working for a city as a recreational aide (so think parks and rec, the tv show) so basically I handle light paperwork and paid registrations for classes that the city offers. One of those classes that you can take is Zumba. We also have a nearby football field so people who attend games must also share parking with Zumba class goers who have specially reserved parking. The bottom line here is that people have to keep it civil if the parking lot gets a little crowded. No big deal! I also put up plenty of signage showing the reserved Zumba parking.
So one day this lady parked in a Zumba spot and gets out of the car. Usually, I wait to see if it’s a Zumba lady but she seemed very obviously there for the football game since her daughter was dressed as a cheerleader, so I walked out and asked her if she’s there for football. This is how the convo went:
Me: ‘Hi there..so are you here for the football game?’
Her: ‘Yes?’
Me: ‘Well this parking lot is actually reserved for a Zumba class. I have a sign right over there that says no football parking. So I’m gonna have to ask you to park somewhere else, please.’
Her: in a very rude tone ‘Well I’m not from around here so I didn’t know where to park, and I’m not going to park far away and make my kids walk in this heat, buster!’
Me: ‘I understand that! Okay, but for future reference please don’t park here next time.’
Her: ‘Well LIKE I JUST SAID…I’m not going to park far away and make my kids walk in this heat buster! So let me just walk over and drop my kids off and I’ll move my car.’
Me: ‘Okay. Yes, I heard you. Thanks!’
Then we parted way and walked off. During my entire shift, I looked outside the building to see if she left yet. She hasn’t. An hour passed by, which is how long the Zumba class is. This lady said she would move her car after dropping her kids off! But nope, she didn’t. Whatever. So I come up with this genius plan.
I walk outside and place the sign (it’s one of those large stand up signs) smack dab in the middle of the parking lot entrance, a bit close to her car so that when she tries to leave she’ll either have to get out and physically move the sign herself or do a three-point turn.
I cackle to myself with delight.
So I sit and wait patiently for her to come back. And lo and behold, she does, around the time the class ends. Which is way past when she said she would move her car. I watch as she places her child in the backseat and gets in the driver’s seat. She backs up, but oh no…the sign is in her way! bummer. She parks her car again, gets out of her car VERY ANGRILY, and moves the sign over to the curb.
I’m watching this all unfold and just laughing my butt off. It was truly satisfying.
That’s what you get for being rude to me and not following directions, lady.”
