All these guys wanted was a fun night out. Instead, they received an onslaught of bizarre terror. Seriously, one never knows how deranged another person is until they sit down for appetizers! It only gets more and more weird from here. Content has been edited for clarity.
Rock And Roll And Vomit
“I met this girl at a local fuel stop. She loved rock and roll, so I surprised her with front row tickets to a KISS concert as a first date. She was so excited. We talked on the phone for about a week, the anticipation was plain silly. She seemed completely normal. So these tickets were a chore to get. I paid three-hundred bucks for two tickets, in the front row, left of stage. It took everything I had in my savings to get them. So I picked the gal up the night of the show and she was a little bit tipsy. I thought I would catch up to her. Easy enough. We get to the show, and her buzz was intensifying. Her speech was slurred pretty bad, so I grabbed two drinks for myself and headed to our seats. By the time we got to our seats, I could tell the situation was worsening. She collapsed into her seat. I looked at her, and she laughed real loud and said, ‘My legs don’t work good!’
I asked her how much she had drank, and she said about a pint. That still didn’t add up, so I asked her if she took any medicine. She said nah, I’m fine, give me twenty minutes to sober up. The opening act came out, played a few songs, and I noticed she was salivating profusely. I stood her up to take her to the bathroom, and that’s when things got nuts. On our way over, she projectile vomited on about five people around us, including me, and kicked over my last drink onto some bundle of wires covered by some kind of rubber speed bump. She slipped on it, landing in vomit. I got her up, making eye contact with the 19,000 people sitting behind me, and I got her to the bathroom. By the time we got there, she was in rough shape. There was lots of dry heaving, more puke, and some salty language to people in her way. She bounded into the bathroom and I went to wash myself up. Well, about fifteen minutes went by, and a lady came rushing out of the bathroom and screamed, ‘Who’s with this sick girl, she’s choking!’
I rushed into the women’s room and my date was white as a ghost and puking up the remaining contents of her stomach. She was laying on her side and convulsing. I ran out and got a nearby security guard to call help. They loaded her on a gurney, and we went backstage to a med bay. Once we got in there, a nurse came in and asked us lots of questions, which my date refused to answer. Nurse went to get more help, and all of a sudden the quiet turned to this roar. KISS was now on stage. I then realized I was not going to see this concert. I might hear it, but I wouldn’t see it. Then the medics came in. They hooked her up to a machine, checked her vitals and asked again if she had any substances in her body. This girl squelches, ‘I love my pills!’
Thirty minutes later, I was in the ER of a nearby hospital, explaining to the girl’s parents that I didn’t give her anything. I didn’t even know she liked pills! Turns out that she had been in ten different hospitals for overdoses and mental instability. She even stabbed her ex-fiance with a screwdriver once. Her parents had the saddest looks on their faces. I walked to my car, drove home, and stared at the wall for four hours. I was clueless as to how I could have ever seen any of this coming. I never heard from her again. I heard years later that she died of an overdose.”
Date Goes Down The Toilet
“I was on a date with a friend’s friend. I didn’t know her, I had only seen her around from time to time. As I picked her up, everything went smooth and fine. As we ate our dinner, she suddenly started going on about having to poop. She literally did not stop talking about it. She kept talking about it even after she had a twenty-two-minute bathroom break. She was the kind of person that couldn’t whisper. So the whole one and a half hours we were there, most of it was spent talking about her pooping. I wasn’t embarrassed, I felt more like I disrespected this restaurant with me taking her there. I tried ending the date early, telling her we could reschedule because she was feeling unwell. Her answer to that was that it was only her body which is feeling unwell, and she didn’t want our efforts for this date to go down the drain.
No there wasn’t any follow-up date. I was young back then, and there was no motivation for me to engage with her again. Of course, I’ve asked my friend afterwards if she was always like that, or if this was news to my friend as well. It was new to my friend too. I’ve seen her a few times after our date, and we both silently agree to act like nothing ever happened every time.”
Ran Away Laughing Hysterically
“Back in 2003, I had recently moved to Charlotte, North Carolina. I decided I was going to sign up for online dating for the first time. I started messaging a few girls and eventually made a connection and planned out a date. We decided to meet at PF Chang’s. We had discussed that it was going to be casual, so of course she showed up in an evening gown. That was the first red flag. She was super gorgeous and looked great in the gown, but she also looked completely out of place. Fight or flight kicked in, but she was hot, so I decided to stay and fight. She stood next to me at the bar and ordered two drinks. One she immediately downed, and the second she took a long sip of before turning to me and saying hello. That was the second red flag. We had some awkward small talk and I mentioned her evening gown. She told me she collects them and decided to wear one tonight to ‘dazzle’ me. That was the third red flag. We were seated at a table, and as the server walked up, she ordered a bottle of bubbly. We have more awkward small talk and eventually ordered food, and by the time I have finished my first drink, she already finished the bottle of bubbly. That was the fourth red flag. I stand and ask if she knows where the restrooms are, and as she is pointing in a direction behind me, I feel a stabbing pain in my right butt cheek.
I grab my butt and turn around, and she is giggling her butt off. She is holding a 5-inch-long pin, which she just used to stab my butt. That was the fifth red flag, and I had enough at this point. I walk to the bathroom and go in one of the stalls, drop my pants, and check out the damage. I touch the wound and my hand comes back bloody. I used enough toilet paper and applied enough pressure to eventually stop the bleeding. I walk out and find the server, pay the bill, and close the check. I tell the server to hold off serving anything until I am finished talking with my date and I am walking towards the door. The server agrees. As I walk up to the table, I am noticing people are staring at me, and I realize that my date is silently sobbing at the table. For some reason, I am the monster in this situation. I sat down and asked why is she crying. She said that she messed up by drinking so much bubbly and she thought she was being cute and funny poking me with the hat pin. She said it’s an antique and she collects those too. I told her that I was pretty shocked when she stabbed me with it, and that my butt was bleeding where she stabbed me. I told her that this evening got off on the wrong foot and that I had already paid the bill and that we should try it again another time. I was just being polite, I didn’t want to see her ever again. With that, she snapped out of her sobbing quietly and began yelling at me, ‘Wait, you’re leaving?! You can’t leave me!’
I said, ‘Look, the evening has taken a bad turn, and I just want to go.’
She stood up and yelled, ‘No one leaves me, I leave THEM!’ and started marching to the door of the restaurant, forgetting that there were three steps she had to walk down towards the entrance of the restaurant. She took a tumble down the stairs, purse flying, and landed hard on the bottom step. As I stood there, I wondered how this could get any worse? I didn’t have to wonder long though, because it certainly did. She started crying and holding her ankle. Servers and manager came running, as well as an off duty paramedic. They started working on her there, icing and elevating her left leg, because she might have broken her ankle. The paramedic called 911, and within minutes the ambulance was there. They got her on the gurney and were wheeling her out the door of PF Chang’s to the ambulance. Throughout this whole scene, I never said a word. I was just an observer hoping this was all a bad dream. I hoped that as the ambulance doors closed, I could just walk to my car unnoticed. Nope, not so lucky. She started screaming for her boyfriend, who was the guy she had been on a date with. Everyone looked at me. I was told by the paramedic, ‘They are taking her to Presbyterian Medical Center, follow them!’
I got in my car and was taking my time, but the ambulance was waiting for me. I pulled up behind them and flashed my lights and they took off. Throughout the drive to the hospital, I was thinking of just going home, but I did feel some responsibility to at least see this nightmare through to the end. It was a light night at the ER and she was getting the full treatment from everyone because she was gorgeous and dressed in an evening gown. The x-rays showed no broken bones, so they put her in an air-cast and crutches. When she was released, I was there to take her home. She wasn’t going to be able to drive her car, which was still at the restaurant.
We drove silently for the most part, except when she had to tell me where to turn. We eventually pulled up to her house, and I had to help her out of the car and up to her front door, where she asked me to come in. I said the evening was eventful, but I have to go. She then said, ‘Well, the evening doesn’t have to be a complete disaster, come on in, sit back on the couch, and let me take care of you with my mouth.’
I literally ran off that porch laughing hysterically until I got in my car and hauled tail out of there. I deleted my account and never used online dating again.”
Am I Seeing Double?
Alright, strap your boots on and buckle your seatbelts, because I’m gonna tell you about the time I unknowingly hooked up with twins and pretty much broke up a family. It wasn’t my fault, but you’ll see that later on. So to set this up, I had just been stationed in Italy. I was 19, and I’m in one of the best shapes of my life at this point, and fairly handsome (at least that’s what grandma tells me). I had met this girl (we’ll call her Samantha) online, and she had lived in Florence, which is about two hours away from where I lived. When I went there I would always get a hotel, because she told me she lived with her two sisters and a friend in their apartment, and I wanted to be alone with her. The first three dates go off without a hitch. She is a wonderful girl, smart, funny, and beautiful. So I think I hit a home run. I go back home, try to text her, but I was blocked on everything. I thought I did something wrong, but I was so confused. About two days, later I get a text from a different number. It says it’s her and that she thought she was being stalked, so she had changed all of her social media accounts. I should’ve seen then that it wasn’t the original girl because she was texting and talking differently than before. But I was young and dumb then. I asked her to send me a couple of photos to be sure, and they look like her, so it’s cool with me. Now here is where it gets interesting!
We make plans so that I would come down Thursday evening and stay until Sunday. She meets me at the station and we immediately head to the hotel room to hook up. Afterwards, we shower and go grab some dinner. We went to this lovely mom-and-pop restaurant in Florence, and I was honestly having a fantastic time. That’s when the ORIGINAL GIRL showed up at the restaurant. I’m freaking out. Turns out I had been with her twin! The two women started fighting right in the middle of the restaurant! Turns out I had been with Samantha’s twin Katie, who was trying to exact revenge on Samantha for something that. I never really learned about. Needless to say, I ditched them both and went back to my hotel in a daze. To this day, I can’t believe that seriously happened to me!”
He Felt The Biggest Wave Of Relief
“I would deliver pizzas to a certain hotel quite regularly, and I became friendly with the cute girl who worked the front desk. She once asked me if I wanted to get a drink, which I happily agreed to. It turned out to be a venting session against her ex-boyfriend for two solid hours. I tried to change the subject or get a word in, but she always made everything about him. She had to leave, and I felt the biggest sigh of relief afterwards. The bartender gave me a huge drink on the house, he could tell I had made it through quite an ordeal. It was awkward from then on out every time I would be back at the hotel delivering pizzas. She would ask me to get a drink, and I would have to pretend to be sober for her.
But I would soon encounter a day that was far worse than I ever could have imagined. I started meeting someone after work, where we would get drinks, laugh, and go back to one of our apartments. We really enjoyed each other’s company, and the physical chemistry was really strong. That girl I was seeing left on a six-week trip overseas, and we talked occasionally in that time. I started to miss having her around and thought maybe I should be taking this more seriously. When she got back, we decided to go on our first proper date in the four months or so we’d been seeing each other. We go to the restaurant, and before the waiter even brings us our appetizer, she gets strangely hostile. I got a very direct and accusing, ‘How many people did you sleep with while I was away?!? Did you sleep with that register girl at your work?!?’
It came out of left field for me, and the answer was no. I didn’t know where me and her were at, but it kind of felt wrong to me. The conversation changed and became pleasant again, then again, completely unprompted she says, ‘My friends don’t like you.’ All I could think to say is, ‘That’s too bad, I like them.’
I’m starting to feel something is pretty wrong at this point. We went to see a superhero movie, and afterwards she told me, ‘That movie was stupid, i fell asleep during it!’ So I invited her to my place to have a drink. We went to the apartment pool with drinks, and she was still accusing me of cheating on her with that girl from my work. I finally realized she’s projecting a guilty conscience and I ask, ‘Did you sleep with somebody?’
It turned out that she had. I wasn’t upset, since we weren’t officially dating yet. We tried to move past things and hook up once again. But somethig went very wrong. I felt something super painful, so we both went to the nearby hospital. It turned out that she had a week-old tampon in herself that they had to remove. It was the most uncomfortable way to end a date ever.”
Revealing The Monster Within
“Years ago, I went out for drinks with a really cute redhead. I knew her from around town, and we were always kind of flirtatious with each other when our paths would cross. So we’re having drinks and things are going well. It is becoming obvious that she wants to come home with me, and I am very much into that idea. I suggest that we head out. At this point, she suggests that before we do that, we quickly swing by another bar down the street to say hello to her cousin. So we get to the bar down the street and her cousin is there, and we chat for a couple of minutes. She seems like a nice lady, but I’m looking for an opportunity to move onto the more romantic portion of the evening.
It’s at this point that her cousin’s date arrives. He’s a tall, well-dressed, black gentleman. I wish I could say what his personality was like, but I never got a chance to find out, because it was at this point that all heck breaks loose. My date, immediately upon meeting her cousin’s date, FLIPS OUT! She immediately goes full Hitler, screaming at the top of her lungs in a crowded bar that she can’t believe that her cousin’s hanging out with a black guy and how their family is going to disown her. It was the whole nine yards. She dropped so many slurs. At this point, I’m completely shocked. Looking back, I can’t remember seeing any warning signs. Suddenly I’m in the middle of the most insane situation that I’ve ever been in up until this point in my young life. My date is screaming horribly prejudiced filth, her cousin is crying and screaming back, her date is FURIOUS, and the entire bar is staring at us with disgust. I had no idea what to do, so basically I just stood up and noped right out of there, never looked back, and didn’t bother to find out how the situation played out. I just walked down the street back to the bar I started out in, ordered a double shot, sat in shocked silence, and then walked home.”
Sitting Down To A Screaming Match
So this particular date changed my entire life. It was not a first date or anything, probably our fourth or fifth. We went out to the local BBQ cook-off early in the afternoon which meant free food and free drinks. About an hour in, she starts talking about how we need to get married, and she wants to go back to her home state, and we would have a good family for her child back there. I clearly missed some red flags early on, but at the time she seemed like a good person who left out some big portions of her life. After marriage talk, I figured we should probably move on and leave this place, and maybe this was just all the drinks talking. A group of friends was out at a restaurant and wanted us to come visit. Once we’re seated, my date gets into a screaming match with my best friend. I was not going to let a fight happen, so I paid for the drinks and dragged my date out of the place. She then starts screaming and yelling and threatening me.
At this point, I’m mentally exhausted and full of BBQ and decided I’m over this. I offer to give her a ride, and she kept throwing a fit, so I just got in my car and left while she was throwing a temper tantrum. I got home and was walking my dog when a random truck pulls up. Guess who is getting out of the truck? Yup, she returned. The fighting and yelling from before has now turned into crying and apologies. I’m over it at this point and tell her she needs to leave, and this is over and I don’t want to see her again. Next thing you know, she starts having a panic attack on the couch and says her heart is racing. Apparently, she has a heart condition and needs to go to the hospital. I’m not about to have someone have a heart attack on my watch, so I take her to the hospital. All they do is give her an IV and some calming oils! It’s almost three in the morning at this point, and I’m drained. I came home, thinking my experience with her was finally over. Nope! She moved back to her home state, called me up, and said that she was pregnant. The child was mine. It’s been four years, and I still have to deal with this person!”
Tidal Wave Of Anger
“I met this girl through a mutual friend. We exchange numbers and text for a few days. We decide to meet up one weekend evening to go bar hopping. She tells me that we should meet her friend to keep drinking. As soon as we meet her friends, her entire vibe transforms. She didn’t even introduce me to her friends. I got the cold shoulder from her for the next sixty minutes, despite her friends trying to include me in their conversations. As we were finally leaving, she begins going on this rant about how she hates all men. I was very confused, since we seemed to be having a good time beforehand. I pulled her over to the aside quietly, and I thanked her for the evening, but I told her I was going to leave on my own. My date began shrieking in the street. She didn’t understand why I was leaving, we were having such a good time! I tried to be honest and told her how I felt based on her treatment of me. I walked away, but she walked behind me, yelling my name and yelling for me to stop leaving. I got in my car, and on the drive home, I got six phone calls and even more texts, all of which were seething with rage. Thankfully, that was the last time I went out with her. I did run into her a year or so later, where she tried to set up another date with me. I politely declined, and that got her really angry once again. I had to quickly exit the scene to avoid her tidal wave of rage!”
One Major Secret She Forgot To Mention
“This year, I matched with a woman online She worked in the same industry I’m in and am passionate about. We had great online chemistry, she definitely had my type of humor and looks. We even had similar hobbies and tastes in music and movies. Soon, we were texting each other all the time and it was starting to feel serious. We haven’t met yet, but it seems like we both really like each other, and we are both excited to ‘finally’ meet. It had been around five days of texting, and she lived a two and a half hour drive away, but we make plans for me to drive up and visit her at her place. I didn’t have work for a few days, and I borrowed $20 to fill up my gas tank to get to her. I woke up super early to make the drive. I pick her up and move in for a hug and a kiss. She stops me and says how she hasn’t been feeling well. She really wanted me to take her to the hospital to get her checked out. Long story short, I take her to a nearby clinic and she tests positive for chlamydia.
She explains to me that she wasn’t taking her medications recently and hooked up with a bunch of different guys. I ask her when she found out about this, which was about three days ago. She didn’t tell me because she liked me and didn’t want to scare me off. The entire time all of this was unfolding I kept my cool and stayed positive. When we get back to her place, she introduces me to her pets, takes off her clothes, and tries to seduce me. I tried to get her to only cuddle instead, and we fall asleep on her couch. I wake up before her, gather all of my things quietly, and creep out of her apartment into my car. I drive away and call a friend to please help me. I met up with my best friend for lunch, where he laughed at me nonstop. He let me crash at his place since it was nearby. Seriously, be truthful to your partners!”
Their Entire Night Went Off The Rails
“My first date with my wife was pretty horrendous. First, a little backstory. My wife and I were best friends since grade school, and we even lived together as roommates as adults. One Christmas things changed, and romantic feelings started from both of us at the same time. It took over a year for us to finally do something about it, since we both just assumed we had one-sided crushes. Anyway, once we figured it out, we didn’t want to tell anybody we were dating yet, in case things went south. We finally planned what would technically be our first date. This mutual friend asked if he could join us, not knowing that we were on a date. We show up, and surprise, he had run into a car full of our friends and invited them as well. One of the friends also invited her brother and his girlfriend, who also happened to be my ex. She may be the only person on the planet my wife actively hates.
Faced with the choice of telling our entire social circle our new secret, or just smiling and acting like everything was normal, we chose to do the latter. So the rest of the evening consisted of one of our friends getting wasted and my ex complaining about everyone and everything throughout the evening. That ex refused to eat at the restaurant we chose because she eats like a ten-year-old. We didn’t get to go to the concert we planned on because we got outvoted by the friend group. I had to drive home my wasted friend while another mutual friend attempted to set up my now wife with a guy. Once it was mercilessly over and we were both home, we just collapsed on our couch and cackled. Only us man, only the two of us can cause a night like that through sheer hard-headed social awkwardness. Our second date happened in another town, and we didn’t tell a soul we were going.”
