Think of the worst roommate fight you’ve had. Whatever it is, it’s nothing compared to a recent incident in Moundville, Alabama, where a roommate argument between two men escalated to violence last week — all because of stale Cap’n Crunch.
Fifty-two-year-old Duane Berry Smith became agitated when he found he could not easily eat his Cap’n Crunch cereal without teeth. According to the Moundville Times, Smith accused his roommate of ripping the bag when he opened it and not properly resealing it, which caused the sugary cereal to go stale. And stale breakfast cereal is, apparently, really difficult to eat when you don’t have any teeth.
Smith demanded his roommate, who is also toothless, take out his dentures and try to eat the stale cereal himself. When the roommate refused, Smith attacked him with a laptop cord. He has been charged with third-degree domestic violence and, if convicted, faces up to a year in jail.
As bizarre an incident like this seems, it isn’t the only recent act of violence in Moundville that was caused by food. Back in December, a man stabbed his half-brother after the brother cut a piece of cheesecake that was too small for a “grown (expletive) man,” according to the Tuscaloosa News.
Moundville Times editor Travis Vaughn was the reporter on the scene for both food fight instances.
“Domestic violence is a serious issue, and maybe people will see how even ridiculous disputes, like these over food, can escalate and lead to injuries and jail time,” he told the Tuscaloosa News.
So let this be a lesson for all roommates — if you open a bag of cereal, make sure you properly reseal it to hold that freshness in. Because you don’t want to end up in the hospital.
